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Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Speechless

 I'm just overwhelmed with emotion right now and need to share.

My cognitively delayed, speech impaired second grade daughter was convinced to do something at school by a group of boys from her class on Tuesday. It was investigated to some extent but no action taken. AND I WAS NOT INFORMED. I had to find out from another mom who called me, tonight, wondering if I needed to talk because her daughter had told her about, so the other children knew. One of the boys takes her bus to and  from school.
  This school has ignored bullying and other instances of Little Bit being abused because of her differences. But this is just outrageous that I was not even informed so I can at least help her deal with and understand.
 I'm going in tomorrow morning with my husband, and my mother to get the principle to "explain" what happened, why I was not informed, and what was done. Which she will have no possible acceptable explanation. So from there we will be going to the board, and who knows from there.
  I'm so worried about what if this has happened before? worse? What is going through her mind?? What message has been sent to all of the children about getting away with things? Is my daughter now an "officially" acceptable child to bully, abuse, and harass???
  And I feel so much worse because she had not wanted to go to school on Tuesday because she was scared of other children and I told her she needed to go and to just tell a teacher if they weren't nice to her, and I sent a note to her teacher.

I feel so many things right now. I'm going to go stab bind one of my quilted wraps for a while.

21 comments:

Sandie ~call me crazy said...

Oh Cara! {{{hugs}}} That is a totally unacceptable thing for both the principal and her teacher to do! They both should've called you. I'll be thinking about you tomorrow.

Darlene said...

Cara, Cara - here's a (hug)! I hope that you'll get the answers and explanations you are owed! Good thoughts for you and yours!

Pauline said...

(((Cara)))- so sorry to hear of this- bullying is never acceptable and neither is not being informed about it.

Barb said...

Oh my, I would be crying (you see what kind of mom I am.....crying because I hurt for the child and crying out of anger...can never get angry without crying, truly angry). Hang in there. I hope this doesn't offend you but have you thought of homeschooling? Atleast you know now and now you can help her deal with it. Glad you are taking reinforcements tomorrow and GOOD LUCK!!!!

Lis said...

Oh Cara, I feel for you and for Little Bit. My grandson has DS and my over riding fear is of people hurting him. The school (is it mainstream btw?) has forgotten their duty of care to your daughter, and that is no different from any other child, why should it be? I hope you can get this sorted out but most of all I hope Little Bit is ok. Big hugs, Lis sx

June said...

(Hugs) Cara! It's a terrible feeling having your child bullied and the people who should protect her do nothing. I hope you get answers and a resolution today.

Jo said...

Things like this should NEVER happen. The important thing to do now is be calm enough to be a support and advocate for your little one. It's got to a very difficult situation for your and your family.

Shelley said...

a GOOD KICK IN THE YOU KNOW WHAT IS NEEDED TO THOSE WHO FAILED YOUR DAUGHTER AT THE SCHOOL. YOUR DAUGHTER IS SO LUCKY TO HAVE SUCH A GREAT MOM WHO IS GOING TO BAT FOR HER!! SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE SAFE!

LJ said...

(((((((((LttleBit&Cara)))))))))

tracy_a said...

OH my goodness! Get your momma bear on - what completely reprehensible behavior from the principal - how could they NOT tell you? It's like they don't even care at all! I am so upset for you and Little Bit - little children cannot fend for themselves, and we need to be able to trust the grownups that are there to care for them!

hetty said...

Having worked in a special needs class for 20 years I can empathize with your situation. When kids from the regular classes bullied or harassed our students it was always difficult to get the powers that be involved and do something. Be strong and assertive! Little Bit has all the same rights as any other student and should not be treated that way. It is the school's duty to keep her safe. Hugs to you. Just cry a little. It helps sometimes.

Brenda said...

Crying for you and your daughter. Bullying is never acceptable. I thought most schools were suppose to have a zero tolerance policy.Praying you can have an impact on the principal, teacher, and board members hearts so that policy are changed and forgiveness is asked.

Jenny Garland said...

Oh, Cara, my heart aches for you and your daughter. I am horrified these things happen and parents are not informed. Please let us know what the school says.

Lots of hugs,
Jenny

Michelle said...

I'm pissed! Especially at those adults - the ones that are supposed to protect our children.

If I were in your position, I would document EVERYTHING. From the event(s), to dates & times, the people you spoke to and what happened afterwards. I find writing things down in the moment, helps keep an accurate record of what has happened. You never know when or if you will need that information.

amber said...

I am so sorry, I am so mad with you right now. I have a special needs daughter too and if that Happened to her I would be pissed and some one would be losing a job. Giving you hugs and praying for you and your daughter.

Kim said...

Things like this just makes so so upset. We send our kids to school thinking that they will be ok because those in charge would do the right thing, but they only like to cover everything up. I hope all will work out for you and your daughter will be ok.
Hugs

Flo said...

I feel terrible for you and your little girl. I know it doesn't help much, but you have a lot of support here. Wish there was more we could do.
Give her a hug from all of us!

Quilt Hollow said...

The news media is real big right now about bullying too...I think the school will be willing to listen much more so than ever before at this point. It is a shame that you weren't notified. I can tell you I wasn't notified by the school last year when my son collected a KNIFE from another kid and turned it in! SO....then my son is made out to be the RAT...long story and yeah...I was pissed that my son told me of the incident AND he was nervous at school! It all worked out thank goodness...the other child was eliminated from the school.

Wendy said...

My sincerest hugs to you and Little Bit. OhMyGoodness I don't know what I would do in your shoes and I'm so very sorry you have to deal with this. You are all in my prayers.

Sinta Renee said...

I'm thinking of something the Red Queen would say in Alice in Wonderland. Sending you warm thoughts and 2 hugs, one for you and one for your daughter. To this day, I cannot let go of the things that happened to my children, that shouldn't have. Let 'em have it for me!!!

The One and Only said...

I cannot believe they didn't tell you anything...Yeah, if it was me, I would need a lot of people to go with me so I wouldn't hop over the table and hurt someone...bullying is getting way out of hand...I hope it goes to the top as an example of what not to do (as not telling the parents)....please keep us informed (if possible) of the progress because I don't want to travel to the school! hang in there lovely!!! xoxoxxo